It is easy to let our thoughts roll off the tongue as we parent our children — especially when they misbehave or push our buttons. All too often, we react to our children’s behavior with phrases that are unhelpful and sometimes even harmful. I know the times I’ve done this I immediately regret it. We don’t mean for our words to be discouraging or hurtful. We are just exasperated, worn out, and likely at our wits-end with parenthood. But it’s best if we know what to stay away from rather than discover it after the damage has been done. So here are five things you should never say to your child and what’s really at the root of your words.
Our children should receive words of encouragement from us everyday — but especially on the harder days. I am sure most of us are good at using positive reinforcement (saying things like “good job” and “that was very smart of you”) when they exhibit a desired behavior. But there are certain things you should say to your child every day that are not tied to their behavior.
Moms, our daughters learn from us. They repeat what we say, and they mirror what we do. So even when it’s hard to love or even like ourselves, we need to be cautious about what we say and do in front of our daughters. These 4 things a mother should never say to her daughter can be especially damaging. Maybe you remember your own mother saying them.
t isn’t that I had transformed into a controlling wife over time. I now knew I had always been one. Thankfully, we have since apologized, but his words stuck with me. Because he is right. I am a controlling wife. Here are 5 signs you may be a controlling wife, too.
Parenting is exhausting, right Mom? I know it’s what we signed up for, but still—it’s a lot. Not only are we responsible for meeting our kids’ basic needs, but we also bear the weight of nurturing them and cultivating their independence. That’s a pretty big deal, so we often find ourselves making most (and sometimes all) of the decisions in their lives. But there are some decisions you shouldn’t make for your kids.
I love my husband. But sometimes he drives me nuts. BONKERS. Sometimes he can crawl right under my skin and pitch a tent there. And if I am being completely honest with you — I do exactly the same thing to him. We are not always on the same page and often fall out of sync with one another. Some days we fail to effectively communicate and can feel a rift forming between us. This doesn’t happen because we are wrong for each other. Or because we have fallen out of love with one another. It isn’t even some indication that we are failing as a couple. This is normal. This is marriage, y’all. When handled properly, healthy amounts of conflict presents a marriage with opportunities to grow, mature, and strengthen. In order for conflict to be proactive and positive — you first need to have some tools in your marriage belt that will help promote healthy conflict resolution. I want to share with you six tools you can use when navigating conflict in your marriage.
With the Lenten season beginning, I wanted to write a post that focuses on this sacred time of the year — specifically with mamas in mind. As you probably know, it is common for Christians to “give-up” something for the 40-day period we know as Lent. There are varying views on what “giving-up” and “taking-up” should look like during Lent. Personally, I believe the things we give-up and/or take-up should serve a primary purpose: to draw us closer to Jesus. That being said, I want to share with you two things us mama’s can give-up and take-up during this season of Lent that will help draw us nearer to Jesus — and also help us to be better mamas!
Your days will no longer be carefree and whimsy will begin to scare you. You will find sprinkles of freedom here and there, but you’ll also realize you no longer yearn to be free like before. You prefer to be home. You will still explore, but you won’t wander as far as you used to. Your adventures will no longer be about you — and that’s okay. You actually like it that way. You will find joy in her curiosity. You will find peace in her smile. Your late nights will look a little different. There will be tears and you will be tired. Some nights you will sit and wonder if the morning will ever come. I promise you it does. The sun always comes out again.
I watched another mom endure the same things I did during my own postpartum recovery. The things that made me feel weak, alone, and worthless. The things no one likes to talk about. The messy things. The gross things. The real things. I watched the mom in this ad over and over again. I admired her strength, her grace, and her perseverance. I yearned so badly to help her, even if it meant simply reassuring her that everything she is going through is normal and that it will soon pass. As I watched this mom again and again, an amazing thing happened — I began to see myself. I was no longer watching a stranger struggle through the woes of postpartum — I was watching me. I was admiring my own strength. My own grace. And my own perseverance. This ad — and the feelings it gave me — have inspired me to share the raw and messy details of my physical recovery with you — especially the things that I was not prepared for after childbirth.
The crumbs stayed in their places all day. The dishes piled up in the sink. The laundry from the wash never made it into the dryer. And the clean laundry sat in the basket for another day. Lunch was nothing special, either. Macaroni does just fine on days like today. Your toys were strewn about the house and I didn’t bother to put them away. To save some time, I’ll just say my to-do list stayed undone. But I didn’t do nothing today.
Let’s face it — motherhood changes us. Whether it’s for better or for worse, bringing a baby into this world alters something (or everything) about us. Trust me, mama — none of us journey through motherhood unscathed. The trap most of us mamas fall into is letting our original self fall to the wayside while we navigate the rough terrain of first-time motherhood. Now, hear me out — being “mama” is a beautiful thing. It is an incredibly special gift bestowed upon us by God. But motherhood is not our be-all and end-all. Balancing your pre-mom-self and new-mom-self will be work. It will take time. But, it is important — no, necessary — for your mental and emotional health. It is essential for you to figure out you in order to be the best mama you can be to your babe(s).
With February just around the corner, I wanted to share some thoughtful Valentine’s Day gift ideas for the guy in your life — whether it’s a boyfriend, a fiancé, or husband. When my husband and I first started dating, I struggled with what to buy him for Valentine’s Day. Not only is my husband incredibly difficult to buy for — and most men are — but it’s hard to find something that says, “I love you,” that isn’t corny or useless (inevitably landing itself in the donation pile by the end of the year.) I aim to find a gift that is practical, personal, and sentimental.
There you have it. This past season of #momlife has definitely been one for the books. And in the books it shall stay, because I do not wish to live in the craziness again anytime soon! But, I’m back now. I’m feeling great in the second trimester and am ready to get back into the swing of things. So unless this #momlife starts using me as a punching bag again soon, you should be back to hearing from me regularly. I’ve missed y’all. Thanks for sticking it out with me.
“No, that’s not the way of Jesus. That’s not the speed of Jesus. That’s not the cadence of Jesus. To hell with the hustle. I’ll take Him instead.”jefferson bethke, To hell With the Hustle This book is good. I don’t mean the “yeah, it is a good read” kind of good. I mean the “wow,… Continue reading LET’S GET LITERARY: To Hell with the Hustle: Reclaiming Your Life in an Overworked, Overspent, and Overconnected World by Jefferson Bethke
There was no room in my new mom brain for anything else. I was definitely hungry. We all were exhausted. There were dishes and laundry to be done, toilets to be scrubbed, and showers to be had. But I didn’t have time to think about how those things were going to be taken care of.”… Continue reading New Parents Shouldn’t Have to Ask for Help
I was so determined to make it through her first year of life without ever needing to supplement.” Today was hard. No, today was more than hard. Today beat me. And it beat me badly. It was just one of those days. I woke up and immediately things were going awry. First, I woke up… Continue reading I Gave My Exclusively Breastfed Daughter Formula and This is What Happened
Friend, I want you to know there is healing. I want you to know having daddy issues is not part of your identity and it certainly does not define you. I want you to know it is okay to not be okay. I want you to know there is no guilt, shame, or sorrow our Heavenly Father cannot take away. He is here to Father the orphans, those of us who are forsaken by our fleshly begetters. He is here to love us, care for us, and make us whole again.
I want you to know when you are comparing your life with my “life” on social media, you are putting your worst up against my best.” When looking at my Facebook page or my perfectly-posed instagram photos, you probably assume I have a handle on this mom thing. I know this because I think the… Continue reading I Don’t Have my S*** Together, Do You?
So the next time you see my husband pushing the stroller through the aisles of Target or changing our daughter’s diaper in the back of our SUV in the parking lot — please don’t tell me he is such a good helper, because I won’t agree.” My husband is a great dad. But he is… Continue reading Stop Saying My Husband is a Good Helper
I recently brought a newborn home and discovered I have to be a little less rigid. Attempting to maintain my toddler’s routine, cook, clean the house, and care for a newborn at the same time was next to impossible—and also unnecessary. I was adding additional stress to an already stressful situation. I learned pretty quickly that I needed to lean into the relaxed parenting thing.